I haven't written one of these in a while, and the reason is this: I haven't seen a scale for three weeks. Not for lack of trying! (I actually did go look in the fitness center of every hotel I've been in - sometimes twice.) They're just not around.
Which I suppose is fine. I know people who abhor scales. They think that number is an accusation and they want nothing to do with it. That's fine. I find myself a little freaked out. I was holding on to that number to give me a sense of accomplishment. I was using it as an added boost of confidence or inspiration to work harder. Not having seen it in three weeks is a little distressing.
The moral of my story is, I can't tell you my number this morning. And I won't be able to for about another week (when I finally see the inside of my apartment again), but I think it's going to be okay. Instead, I'm going to tell you about the things I am clinging to in the absence of the number.
My arms hurt. They hurt to the point that it's hard to take my shirt off. Not like "I think I broke something" hurt. A very straightforward "Oh, you haven't used those muscles in a while...like, ever...have you?" hurt. I've been doing my Hero's Journey nearly every day (I did push things back two days because of an excessively long travel day followed by a 16 hour work day, but otherwise I'm chugging right along) and my arms are sore. I sure hope the sore is worth it. I'm starting to feel like it is because my push-ups are getting easier (read: I can do more of them) and my planks are getting longer (one day I had to do three two minute planks. Ouch. My abs still hurt. Good thing today is another ab day...no...wait...)
I'm choosing to interpret all that sore as progress. When I have to have good posture because my abs protest if I slouch because they think I'm doing a crunch, I feel like that's a win. When I have a hard time sitting in a chair for the entirety of a 90 minute show because my back is sore from Superman's,
I take that as a good sign. If I struggle to put on my shirt in the morning because it hurts to lift my arms above my head, that's just an indication that I'm getting stronger (and probably need to eat more protein, but baby steps, people.)
The rest of me is running on the faith that if I continue doing the things that have been working, they will keep working - wether I can measure the progress in numbers this week or not. I've been good about tracking my calories. (115 days in a row logged in MyFitnessPal so far.) I fell off the water wagon for a bit, but I'm back on it. That, added to the strength training, should be enough to see some results when I get back on that scale.