Losing weight in the Lone Star State

You guys, that title rhyme is going to work for EVERY STATE I GO TO! Aren't you lucky?

I just wandered down to the fitness center/laundry room combo here at the Candlewood Suites (it's one of the things I like about Candlewoods. It lets me be extra productive because I can work out while I'm doing laundry. And the laundry is free! Wins all around.) and discovered a severe lack of scale. I'm kinda bummed because I was really really really hoping I'd be have hit the 230 mark by today. That would put me at my 1/4 mark weeks ahead of schedule. But, alas, I have no way to measure this.

My last weigh in before I left Los Angeles to head back out on tour was 233.6, so I know I'm close. I'm not going to sweat it.

Speaking of sweating, I've started a 60 day work-out program called Hero's Journey. You can check it out here. I have been putting off weight training for too long, which is ridiculous since building muscle does all sorts of good things (burns more calories while resting being the one I'm most interested in at this time) and can be done without any equipment at all. Just the resistance of your own body. I have literally no excuse for not having started sooner.

Anyway, I started on Wednesday at level 1 (with plans, if I like it, to repeat the journey on level 2 and then 3, achieving badassdom sometime in the next 6 months.) Day 1 was a lot of jumping around and squatting and mountain climbers (which I hate, but not nearly as much as I hate burpees). When I got done, I was feeling so strong and pleased with myself that I decided to do some push-ups for fun.

At no time in my life have I ever done a push up for fun. I was clearly not in my right mind.

I decided to do as many push ups as I could until I couldn't anymore. That turned out to be 5. Yes, just the 5. Yes, I know that's not very many push ups. I'm no Gaston or anything...

I'm not even the guy who lost to Gaston. BUT! They were 5 real push ups. No cheater knee push ups. And they were deep. I mean, not beautiful with perfect form or anything, but I challenged myself to do the best push ups I could manage, and so they were deep for me. (I tend to wimp out early on push ups...and other things...like exercise in general. Here's to turning over new leaves! Several times if necessary!) And today I hurt. Today I have discovered that it is possible to be sore in places I've never even thought about before.

I've decided to accept this muscle ache as a sign that muscles are happening. It's a good thing to be sore. It's concrete evidence that my 5 chintzy push ups meant something.

So, my weigh in will have to wait, but the work outs aren't going to anymore. The time has come to be my own hero.

Or you could think of it like booze...

So, here's a thing that is just true: if a big girl (like myself) loses a little weight, it is very hard to see it. I know this. And, frankly, I am not expecting anyone to notice at this point. It's like when you have long hair and you trim a couple of inches and no one notices. It's all about fractions, people. I think of it in terms of flour, because I bake things (bread pudding with my roomie most recently - think portion control, not "diet"). If you have 2 cups of flour and you take out a tablespoon, you're probably not going to notice. But if you take that same tablespoon out of 1 cup of flour, it's more likely you'll be able to tell. If your hair was only shoulder length and you trimmed a couple of inches, now you have a pageboy and people will comment.

The point is, when a girl my size loses 15 lbs (today's weigh in was 234.7!), it's not a significant enough fraction of my total weight to really take notice. I mean, I hardly notice, and I'm living in this body.

Which is why it was all the more special (once I was done being skeptical), when someone did notice. Because when someone takes time out of their day to tell you that they can see your progress because they have seen you wear that outfit before and they noticed that it looks different - better - on you now? That's something. That feels like an achievement. That is something to stop and appreciate.

I haven't been at this very long. I know I have miles to go before I sleep. But I have already received so much love and support and encouragement that I would be some kind of awful if I didn't let you all know how much it means to me. It's a lot. The kudos and "hang in there"'s on Facebook. The "don't give up"'s from my dad. All the "you can do it"'s and the "you go girl"'s. They mean something to me.

Thank you.

I'm not giving up.

I did eat bread pudding.