So, here's a thing that is just true: if a big girl (like myself) loses a little weight, it is very hard to see it. I know this. And, frankly, I am not expecting anyone to notice at this point. It's like when you have long hair and you trim a couple of inches and no one notices. It's all about fractions, people. I think of it in terms of flour, because I bake things (bread pudding with my roomie most recently - think portion control, not "diet"). If you have 2 cups of flour and you take out a tablespoon, you're probably not going to notice. But if you take that same tablespoon out of 1 cup of flour, it's more likely you'll be able to tell. If your hair was only shoulder length and you trimmed a couple of inches, now you have a pageboy and people will comment.
The point is, when a girl my size loses 15 lbs (today's weigh in was 234.7!), it's not a significant enough fraction of my total weight to really take notice. I mean, I hardly notice, and I'm living in this body.
Which is why it was all the more special (once I was done being skeptical), when someone did notice. Because when someone takes time out of their day to tell you that they can see your progress because they have seen you wear that outfit before and they noticed that it looks different - better - on you now? That's something. That feels like an achievement. That is something to stop and appreciate.
I haven't been at this very long. I know I have miles to go before I sleep. But I have already received so much love and support and encouragement that I would be some kind of awful if I didn't let you all know how much it means to me. It's a lot. The kudos and "hang in there"'s on Facebook. The "don't give up"'s from my dad. All the "you can do it"'s and the "you go girl"'s. They mean something to me.
I'm not giving up.
I did eat bread pudding.